|
In sharing my testimony, my intention is not to live in my past but to show God's strength in my future. I was brought up in a Christian home where Jesus was the head of our household but it was an environment with a lot of "religion" or man-made tradition. Coming up I heard a lot about Jesus. I believed there was a heaven and hell but I never heard about God's grace, mercy and unconditional love. My experiences in church were a long list of "don'ts". By the time I was 12, I had come to realize that I could never measure up to or live by all of these rules. The only thing I really remember from my early days in church - other than the list of don'ts - is one night when the pastor's wife came to my seat in the back corner and told me that God said to tell you that He had a plan for you and He had chosen you for this plan. At the time it didn't mean very much to me but I never forgot it. So after all of this I had decided on a life independent of God. By the seventh grade I had tasted my first beer and smoked my first joint. By graduation, I was married with a child on the way, ready to embark on a future totally depending on drug money. By age 21, I had a drinking problem, drug problem, and my first divorce. By then I considered myself "connected". I could get just about anything I wanted at anytime I wanted it and thought life was the greatest. By my mid-twenties I had reached the goal I had been striving for since high school - I was now one of the top cocaine dealers in a three county area. It was at this time in my life that I was introduced to the biker world. By this time life is moving pretty fast. I was now a dealer, an addict, an alcoholic, and in my second divorce. At this point in my life I cared for no one. I never left the house without a pistol on my side, looking for trouble behind every door, in every car, and around every corner. Everyone around me was getting busted - going to jail - but I seemed to always slip by. At the time I didn't realize it - I just thought I was that good - But you see God had a plan for me. I didn't see it but God's plan started coming together in a bar on a January night in 1992. This is where I met a chick in a pair of tight leather pants, named Cindy that soon became my third wife. To say our relationship was a little rocky would be an understatement. The next four years were nothing but drugs, alcohol, lawyers, guns and money. Hebrews 11:25 tells us that there is pleasure in sin for a season. In 1995, my season was over. There was no more fun in drinking, drugging and going to the bars. I just did it because that was all I knew to do. God seemed to always talk to me more when I was drunk. I suppose He knew that was the only time that I would listen. He has killed my buzz many nights saying "Its time". I didn't think I had time for God. I thought I had done to much and been through to much. Thinking back on what I had heard as a young child, I really thought there was no hope for me. But you see God had a plan for me. One day God said it was time for us to have a talk. I did not want to give up control of my life to any body, but God reminded me of what I had done with it when I did have control. Then He let me know that it didn't matter how much I had drank or how many drugs I had done or not even how many times I had been married. His love is unconditional and he would not only forgive my sins but he would also forget them. He shed his blood for me too - not just the "religious crowd". Mark 8:35 says For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and the gospel will save it. On December 17, 1995 I ask Him to forgive me of my sins and be the Lord of my life. I was instantly delivered of my addictions and God's plan for my life was put in motion. God had a plan for me. It was a plan to prosper, a plan to give hope and a future and to tell the world that He has a plan like this for each and every person. I share this testimony so that you will see what an awesome God we serve and so you will know that regardless of what you have been told or what you have done God has a plan for you. God is looking for broken vessels - all you have to do is say yes.
|
